Nobody Knowingly Joins A Cult

It was a perfect storm: a charismatic leader, the camaraderie of “friends,” and the excitement of the 1980s in New York City. I jumped head-first into a fabulous cultic pool party. Welcome to a world of pretty people with deep thoughts, celestial beliefs juxtaposed with earthly desires, and “true” friendships based on lies.

No one consciously “joins” a cult. While I was in the cult, I had no idea it was a cult. That’s how it works. At that time, I knew nothing about how these groups operate or the tactics they utilize, which is the root of the problem. Back then, my arrogance was such that the main criterion I held onto that proved this group I was involved with could not be a cult was simply because… I was in it.

As ludicrous as this sounds now, it wasn’t then, and I fear that many people will find themselves in a similar situation with a similar attitude, thinking that they are safe when they are not. This core principle is why I’m writing this book. That notion that “It can’t happen to me,” whether spoken out loud or harbored quietly inside, is where the vulnerability lies. I was my own worst enemy, and it took me over two decades to learn this. I feel compelled to share my story not only as a cautionary tale but more so because I believe that if I had access to the information that I have gained along my journey, I believe I may have made healthier choices.

I thought I had found my tribe, my spiritual family, and the like-minded individuals who truly saw me as I wanted to be seen and shared my desire to try to make a difference in the world with our lives and become the best version of ourselves in service of God. It took me twenty years to figure out that the people I became involved with had nothing to do with God. Rather, they were dark and dangerous.

The tragic truth is that this type of quest for power, control, and manipulation by bad actors is rampant. Sadly, sufficient resources do not exist to help the victims who need it most. It’s a strange, sad, and complicated phenomenon that I will do my best to explain in these pages. With candor, humor, and honesty, this book will show readers the ins and outs of mind control techniques and tactics through the lens of my personal journey, which is a testament to the power of family, friendship, and love.

In many ways, my story is more relevant today than when I was living it because our whole society has become cultish. We are hungry for insight as we search for answers on how to navigate our present world of power dynamics gone haywire, from sexual harassment, political turmoil, and personal relationships rampant with manipulation and narcissism. Additionally, the media can barely keep up with the public’s thirst for cult stories. But these shows often leave viewers feeling short-changed as lurid details of the abusive group behavior are emphasized over the inner world of the cult member. Viewers and readers long to understand what is going on inside the minds of the people involved.

This book will shine a light on just that: the human interior.

I’ve come to learn in life that you can’t “save” someone or even help others. People save and help themselves. Yet, we all derive confidence in facing our demons through the encouragement and supportive nature of our friends and loved ones. In the end, each one of us has to do the work for ourselves. The best we can do for one another is to share our experiences and hope that this information might provide fodder for others to discover new perspectives that, upon their self-reflection, might positively serve them moving forward.

It’s my hope that this book will be a positive resource for someone else.

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.”

~Brene Brown